Friday, December 30, 2005

I Mess With Texas, Part 7



Yes, sirree bob, this is a bumper crop of a state. Not a few weeks ago they were struggling with the earth-shattering freezing temperature of 24, and now, the place is on fire.

I'm completely sympathetic with the so-far four people who've died. That's a bad way to go, and to lose your home and only be able to rescue photos -- terrifying and horrific. And now I have to worry about my family, because the flames are coming towards Austin.

But you know what? If I ever had any worries that I might be wrong that Texas is somehow a great state, they've long been laid to rest. And why?

From one of the above articles:

Severe drought set the stage for the fires, which authorities believe were started mostly by people shooting off fireworks, tossing cigarettes or burning trash in spite of bans imposed because of the drought. A fallen power line apparently started one Oklahoma blaze.

It's dry as a bone out, hun! Let's entertain ourselves outdoors! With sparks and flames! That sounds like fun! Woooooooo-whee! And that little ciggie you were smoking? Just crush it out underfoot. Or better yet, toss it in that trash bin. Yippie-ki-yay!

And what's the fine for ignoring a burn ban? Most I saw was $500. What a wonderful Republican-led place! With such focused, incisive minds!

If the slogan of this state is currently "it's like a whole other country," then y'know what? I think it's time to cut it free. Issue passports. Institute immigration status. Better yet: Let Mexico have it back again. This place is an embarrassment.

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