I Mess With Texas, Part 11

It doesn't take long. While Texas has been battling more wildfires and an onslaught of wild kids visiting for South By Southwest (officially the One Redeeming Thing About Texas), it looks as though San Antonio is keeping up the great traditions of this messed up place alive:

Judson ISD considers removing controversial book from curriculum
Web Posted: 03/20/2006 11:28 PM CST

Amanda Taylor
KNES 5 Eyewitness News

Some parents are calling "The Handmaiden's Tale" by Margaret Atwood sexually graphic, and now the Judson Independent School District superintendent wants it out of the curriculum.

However, some teachers say it should stay.

"We've had some ripples over the last years on it but not to this extent," district spokesperson Sean Hoffmann said.

Eleventh-grade students at Judson High School have been reading it for the last 10 years.

"The district certainly does not want to censor our students from appropriate materials, but being a public school system, we can't turn a deaf ear to things and allow our students to be exposed to things the community may not uphold," Hoffmann said.

Atwood's book is about a lower class woman serving as a birthmother for the upper class.

However, a Judson parent noticed more than the story line. She came forward citing the book's more than 60 sexual innuendos and other graphic descriptions.

So the superintendent opened it up.

"The superintendent read several of the passages and decided because of graphic content the book should be pulled from our curriculum," Hoffmann said.

But that's not the end of the story.

A committee of English teachers, students and other parents, has voted to appeal that decision. They want this book to stay part of the advanced placement curriculum.

It'll now be in the hands of the school board, and it will meet on Thursday, March 22 at 7:30 p.m. to discuss it.

On the bright side, if they remove "The Handmaiden's Tale," then really nothing will happen, because the book is called "The Handmaid's Tale."

Clearly the newscasters in Tex-yus need a little more education themselves.

UPDATE: Book has been reinstated.

Judson senior Robbie Cimmino, who read the book in class last year, said the sexual content in the book was being taken out of context. If anything, he said, the book is a cautionary tale that teaches students to respect their bodies and respect the rights of others.

"It made me stop. It made me think. It made me reflect," he said. "If I had not had a chance to read this book, I feel I would've been cheated out of an opportunity to learn and grow."

One of the good guys

I'm happy to be well-ensconsed in blue-state heaven, New York.

But there are times when I'm just as proud of the home state of Maryland, too. Like when you get men like Jamie Raskin, who is running for State Senate.

From the Web site:

"Senator, when you took your oath of office, you placed your hand on the Bible and swore to uphold the Constitution. You didn't place your hand on the Constitution and swear to uphold the Bible."

- Jamie Raskin, testifying Wednesday, March 1, 2006 before the Maryland Senate Judicial Proceedings Committee in response to a question from Republican Senator Nancy Jacobs about whether marriage discrimination against gay people is required by "God's Law."

Snopes does have a better explanation of how the exchange went, here. Was it rehearsed? No doubt. It should also be the standard reply to any politician trying to put biblical law ahead of constitutional.

In addition to everything else, he has a good pedigree: Mom was an author and the founding president of the national writers' union. Dad worked for Kennedy (as in, President, not the sellout we currently have in Congress today).

Vote Raskin! Donate here.

Via One Good Move.

Out of the closet

Now, while I've got nothing particularly good to say about Tom Cruise (whose movies, other than "Risky Business," "A Few Good Men" and "Magnolia" basically blow), I tend not to believe the rumors that he threatened to not promote Paramount's upcoming "Mission: Impossible 3" if sister company Comedy Central re-aired South Park's Episode 912 "Trapped in the Closet." (Both CC and Paramount are owned by Viacom; thanks, Ron "Greatest American Ever" Reagan for deregulation!) Not that Cruise wouldn't make those threats, but that I can't imagine he's not contractually obligated to do some publicity.

That said, the whole furor is doing what these censorship furors always do: Raise interest in the episode. I love South Park, but most TV isn't appointment for me (I get to it when I can) and I haven't seen an episode in a long time. I missed the first airing of "Trapped." And if I really wanted to see it, I no longer could on Comedy Central. But within three clicks of a mouse, I had the episode thanks to You Tube (which essentially is like Napster was before it got sued out of existence; Lord knows how long You Tube and its like will exist, but for now, if you want it on video, no doubt it's there) and just watched it. Had it not been for Isaac Hayes quitting (hypocritical coward) and the rerun being yanked, I'd have gone on my merry way and done something else for the last 20 minutes. So, nice work, Scientologists. Multiply me by several thousand, or hundred thousand, or million, and you've just given Trey Parker and Matt Stone that much more publicity.

I therefore pass along the link to anyone who cares to see the episode. As with most things TP and MS do: Genius.

Also: Trey and Matt's reply to the episode yanking.

UPDATE: Though I'm usually loathe to put anything Fox News says up as credible, I know the gent Roger writing this column and I'll trust him instead.

He notes something that I had not been aware of: Isaac Hayes had a stroke in late January, and that he's still hospitalized. He's in no condition, says Roger, to make any kind of statements like he did, plus quitting the show.

Says Roger:

"The truth is, Hayes has a sly sense of humor and loves everything about "South Park." It’s provided him a much-needed income stream since losing the royalties to the many hits he’s written, such as “Shaft” and “Soul Man,” in the mid-1970s."

Even though he’s one of America’s most prolific hit writers, Hayes has been denied access to profits from his own material for almost 30 years.

But it’s hard to know anything since Hayes, like Katie Holmes, is constantly monitored by a Scientologist representative most of the time. Luckily, at the Blues Ball he was on his own, partying just with family and friends. He was very excited about having gotten married and about the impending birth of a new child.

Friends in Memphis tell me that Hayes did not issue any statements on his own about South Park. They are mystified.

“Isaac’s been concentrating on his recuperation for the last two and a half, three months,” a close friend told me.

Hayes did not suffer paralysis, but the mild stroke may have affected his speech and his memory. He’s been having home therapy since it happened.

That certainly begs the question of who issued the statement that Hayes was quitting "South Park" now because it mocked Scientology four months ago. If it wasn’t Hayes, then who would have done such a thing?

Roger also notes that Comedy Central is going to show "Trapped in the Closet" this Wednesday. And finally, Roger also has something to say completely unrelated to South Park: He likes Austin!

I came down to Austin for the final weekend of the annual South by Southwest festival — also known as SXSW, a play on Alfred Hitchcock’s “North by Northwest.”

I came for several reasons, not the least of which was constantly hearing from anyone who’d been here that Austin was the anomalous Texas city, full of culture and fun.

They were, of course, correct. I will now put Austin on my list of favorite “fly over” cities along with Memphis and Chicago. Texas’ capital has an amazing aesthetic and nearly defies logic. There are no Texan stereotypes here, either.

It’s as if Austin is the Texas town that Europe forgot. And a fantastic new 33-story modern skyscraper, the Frost Bank Tower, looms over the “old” Western city and gives Austin a welcome futuristic glow of promise. Very impressive.

So call this a "reason not to mess with Texas, Part 1/2."

Heffalumps R Us

Annie Proulx wasn't happy with the outcome of the Oscars.

We should have known conservative heffalump academy voters would have rather different ideas of what was stirring contemporary culture. Roughly 6,000 film industry voters, most in the Los Angeles area, many living cloistered lives behind wrought-iron gates or in deluxe rest-homes, out of touch not only with the shifting larger culture and the yeasty ferment that is America these days, but also out of touch with their own segregated city, decide which films are good. And rumour has it that Lions Gate inundated the academy voters with DVD copies of Trash - excuse me - Crash a few weeks before the ballot deadline. Next year we can look to the awards for controversial themes on the punishment of adulterers with a branding iron in the shape of the letter A, runaway slaves, and the debate over free silver.

News trash

"What do you think the Devil is going to look like if he's around? Nobody is going to be taken in if he has a long, red, pointy tail. No. I'm semi-serious here. He will look attractive and he will be nice and helpful and he will get a job where he influences a great God-fearing nation and he will never do an evil thing... he will just bit by little bit lower standards where they are important. Just coax along flash over substance... Just a tiny bit. And he will talk about all of us really being salesmen."
—"Broadcast News"

This is despicable.

LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - While just about every television genre has jumped on the lucrative product-placement bandwagon, news programs generally have been considered off-limits to preserve editorial integrity.

But with TV stations facing increased competition and pressure on advertising revenue, the barriers that shielded news programing from such deals are falling. Product placement, media and branded entertainment agencies say they are increasingly being pitched opportunities from local stations to integrate their clients' products into news programing in exchange for buying commercial time or paying integration fees.

"There are more local news stations that are incorporating brands into news in innovative, cutting-edge ways," said Aaron Gordon, president of entertainment marketing firm Set Resources Inc. "The line, which has always been black and white in terms of what's news and what's commercials, is now being blurred."

A number of local stations, including Young Broadcasting's indie KRON-TV San Francisco and Univision's KMEX-TV Los Angeles, confirmed that they have integrated advertisers into their newscasts and are actively seeking out product-integration deals. Meredith Broadcasting's Fox affiliate KPTV-TV Portland, Ore., launched a lifestyle show in January called "More Good Day Oregon" as an extension of its morning news program "Good Day Oregon." It airs weekly segments designed to serve as vehicles for brand integration.

Such other stations as CBS Corp.'s indie KCAL-TV Los Angeles and Gannett's NBC affiliates in Denver, Minneapolis, Atlanta and Cleveland are experimenting with integration into newsmagazine-type shows that they describe as entertainment rather than news.

MORNING NEWS SHOWS

"We're all trying to find ways of integrating commercial messages into content that satisfy the audience and advertisers without hurting our product," KRON president and general manager Mark Antonitis said. "When you're an independent, you've got to do what you can to survive. You bank on your credibility as a news organization every day, but you also have to be successful as a business. You have to be creative for your advertisers without compromising the credibility of your news organization."

Most stations are focusing their efforts on morning news shows, where lifestyle segments allow for more integration opportunities without sounding as many alarm bells with viewers as it might if product integration popped up in the hard-news portions of their newscasts. At present, full-fledged brand integration into news programing appears to be limited to local news, but some marketing experts suspect that the network morning news shows won't be far behind.

"We are already seeing an erosion of the 'editorial wall' in network newsrooms, particularly for morning news and newsmagazines," said Jim Johnston, partner at the law firm Davis & Gilbert, which represents both media agencies and entertainment clients.

"I think you'll find that this type of activity will continue to take place, and other forms of product integration will find their way into news divisions as well," he said. "The news organizations will continue to seek a balance between editorial independence and advertiser interests, but you will likely see a lot more boundary-pushing in the future."

Representatives for ABC's "Good Morning America," NBC's "Today" and CBS' "The Early Show," all produced through their respective networks' news divisions, say they allow no product integration of any kind. But they do feature the brand names and logos of the sponsors of their concert series on the stages where their musical acts perform. They also run billboards announcing the sponsors of their various news segments.

Just last month, "Good Morning America" broadcast segments of the show live from a Norwegian Cruise Line ship as part of a weeklong series called "Girls' Week Out." According to "GMA" spokeswoman Bridgette Maney, Norwegian Cruise Lines did not pay integration fees for the segments, hosted by correspondent Mike Barz and co-anchor Diane Sawyer, but did foot the bill for airfare, room and board to send nearly 300 women -- contest winners and their girlfriends -- on a cruise to Honduras, Jamaica and the Grand Cayman Islands. Most of the segments broadcast from the ship focused on the women who won the cruise by writing in to say why they deserved time away with their girlfriends, she said.

AUDIENCE BACKLASH

Radio-Television News Directors Association president Barbara Cochran warned that integrating advertisers into news programing could backfire, costing local stations viewers instead of having the intended effect of increasing ad sales. "You're selling the credibility of the news, and if viewers start thinking your news is for sale, then the credibility of your news is lost and your audience is lost," she said.

According to RTNDA's ethics guidelines, "news reporting and decision-making should be free of inappropriate commercial influences" and "should not show favoritism to advertisers," and "news organizations should protect the integrity of coverage against any potential conflict of interest."

Univision's KMEX has an integration partnership with health-care provider Kaiser Permanente Southern California as part of what the station calls its "Lead a healthy life, get the facts" public-service campaign. Kaiser physicians are interviewed on myriad health topics on Univision's various news programs, news footage is shot at Kaiser facilities, and Kaiser patients and support groups are featured in news segments. As part of the arrangement, Kaiser pays additional fees for the integrations, which are not disclosed as such during the news programs.

"Bringing Kaiser on board was a win-win for both of us because they get the exposure of their physicians on television and we have their experts giving us the medical view on a particular health issue and providing vital information to our audience," a Univision spokeswoman said. "Typically news isn't for sale because you need to maintain your integrity. However, you also need to be creative to find ways to include your advertisers without damaging your credibility."

She said KMEX also has involved some of its news personalities in on-air integration/promotion deals with other advertisers, including a major automaker. Last month, KRON aired an 11-day "Spa Spectacular" series in which 11 local spas were featured in the last half-hour of its five-hour morning news programs and viewers were offered the opportunity to purchase half-price gift certificates for spa services.

According to Antonitis, one of the station's news anchors announced that the spas were paying to be featured on the program during the segments.

"I want it to be absolutely clear that that's what's going on here," Antonitis said. "If it's in the newscast, it has to be clearly identified either by an anchor, an announcement or even both that these people paid to be part of this segment or are providing products in exchange for the segment."

In another KRON integration that aired this month, Tourism Australia -- the government body responsible for international and domestic tourism marketing for Australia -- paid KRON to run a weeklong series featuring stories about the country in its morning news program. In addition to an integration fee, Tourism Australia bought traditional spots in the KRON newscasts, paid all expenses for a five-member news crew to travel to Australia and sponsored trips to Australia for two winners of an e-mail contest promoted on-air.

"They certainly had input into our stories, but anytime we do anything with an advertiser that involves news, we have ultimate editorial control," Antonitis said. In this case, Tourism Australia's pay-for-play role was disclosed in the end credits.

"We bring on people all the time to talk about books, products and interesting new ideas anyway," Antonitis said of KRON's decision to integrate advertisers into its news programing. "So if we can have the added benefit of a new revenue source and give something to our viewers that they wouldn't be able to get otherwise and advertisers get their products advertised, it's a win-win-win."

In Portland, KPTV maintains that its new "More Good Day Oregon" program allows for product integration because it is a lifestyle magazine show rather than a traditional newscast.

"It's a high-energy, fast-paced, newscast-style program that has lifestyle content, not news content," KPTV news director Patrick McCreery said. "I think it's an important distinction that our news segments are not for sale, which is why we're endeavoring to create a new product where integration is possible."

Since premiering January 9, "More Good Day Oregon" already has integrated a major local shopping center for a segment on last-minute gifts for
Valentine's Day and a local spa for a two-part series featuring the spa's services and a makeover giveaway won by a viewer. In both cases, the advertisers' involvement was disclosed in the end credits.

"It's proving to be a fairly popular way to work with advertisers here in Portland," McCreery said. "I think it's going to catch on. Gone are the days of just selling spots in local shows. You have to move beyond that if you want to take it to the next level."

Indie KCAL in Los Angeles said that its "9 on the Town" nightly program, covering hot spots and entertainment in Los Angeles, accepted payments from advertisers to be featured in the program, which is expected to go off the air this month after a year-and-a-half run. A KCAL spokesman said the financial relationship is disclosed in the end credits just as it would be in "The Apprentice" or any other show doing integration deals with advertisers. Lisa Joyner, KCBS-TV and KCAL's lifestyles and entertainment features reporter, was one of the hosts of "9 on the Town."

Despite their willingness to strike integration deals with advertisers, the local stations all insisted that the exchange of airtime in their news broadcasts for additional ad revenue would not jeopardize their editorial integrity.

"What you can't do for any advertiser is put into question the integrity of your news product, and the best way to do that is to be absolutely clear about what you're doing," KRON's Antonitis said. "As someone with a journalism background, I don't have any concern about integrating products as long as it's done properly, appropriately and consistently."

As someone with a journalism background, he should be ashamed. And the FCC should be out revoking licenses, not levying fines over a flashed boob.

Television stations originally got their licenses because they agreed to service the public good (while doing their best to make a profit). Hence, news broadcasts. For years, news broadcasts generally didn't make money. And they weren't supposed to. They're just supposed to service the viewers with information about their neighborhoods and the world, maybe throw in some weather and sports. These were the rules, and for the most part, networks and affiliates played by them. Yes, they may have been the vegetables on the TV dinner plate, but they had to be there. If you didn't serve the public, you could lose your license.

Once someone decided they could make money with newscasts, the gloves came off. At that point, licenses should have been suspended. They weren't. Now, we're left wtih this. The news you see may now be sponsored, nay, generated by advertisers.

Number one: Folks, news is not meant to be profitable. Live with it. Whore out something else.
Number two: If you whore out the news, you should have your license yanked.
Number three: Some of this whoring is being done because fewer people are watching TV news. And why are they getting their news elsewhere? Whoring.
Number four: I'm getting my headlines from the Internet.
Number five: And I'm even happier I've never used the broadcast journalism degree I graduated with. What a cesspool.

I Mess With Texas, Part 10

Admittedly, South Dakota is the most f-ed up state at the moment, passing and signing legislation that they know is anti-constitutional, and passing and signing it precisely for that reason, not because there's been a groundswell of anti-choicers banging on the walls recently or anything. But because they want their states rights that means they think they have the right to tell everyone else to do. Nice, coming from a state with a population of about 52.

But, I digress. Texas remains the raison d'etre for this section, and Texas never fails to disappoint.

DeLay tops challengers despite indictment
By JOHN MORITZ
STAR-TELEGRAM AUSTIN BUREAU

U.S. Rep. Tom DeLay won renomination in the Republican primary Tuesday as voters in his conservative Houston-area district brushed aside the legal problems that last year forced the veteran lawmaker to relinquish his powerful post of U.S. House Majority leader.

In incomplete unofficial returns, DeLay was running well ahead of his three challengers with about 64 percent of the vote.

...

DeLay, R-Sugar Land, has called the indictment brought by a Democratic prosecutor politically motivated.

"My constituents get it," he told The Associated Press. "They know what a leftist abuse of power this is."

Knew that was coming.

Sixty-four percent of people in this jerkoff's district want him in office. Despite the indictment. Nice role model you're setting up, folks. Morons. In a way, I say if they want him, they should get him, but the problem is then he gets to affect all of us. Like South Dakota. Can't these people just implode, already?

In other Texas-related news (because you know the monkey in charge likes to claim he's actually from Crawford): The ball is rolling on impeachment. Actually, it's been rolling for a while now, but more people are talking about it. And once Dan Savage gets involved, anything can happen -- remember, folks, santorum.

So, without further ado:

ITMFA

The Ever Present ... Now

Michael Chabon on Clock of the Long Now:

When I told my son about the Clock of the Long Now, he listened very carefully, and we looked at the pictures on the Long Now Foundation’s website. “Will there really be people then, Dad?” he said. “Yes,” I told him without hesitation, “there will.” I don’t know if that’s true.... But in having children—in engendering them, in loving them, in teaching them to love and care about the world—parents are betting, whether they know it or not, on the Clock of the Long Now. They are betting on their children, and their children after them, and theirs beyond them, all the way down the line from now to 12,006. If you don’t believe in the Future, unreservedly and dreamingly, if you aren’t willing to bet that somebody will be there to cry when the Clock finally, ten thousand years from now, runs down, then I don’t see how you can have children. If you have children, I don’t see how you can fail to do everything in your power to ensure that you win your bet, and that they, and their grandchildren, and their grandchildren’s grandchildren, will inherit a world whose perfection can never be accomplished by creatures whose imagination for perfecting it is limitless and free. And I don’t see how anybody can force me to pay up on my bet if I turn out, in the end, to be wrong.

His wife may be certifiable, but I love this man.

Worst. Politician. Ever.

Oh, Lord, when will Congress put us out of our misery and start the fargin' impeachment proceedings already?

As if we needed another excuse, the AP now has video proof that Bush just used FEMA as a shield. (Not that Michael Brown was exactly Mr. Competent, but at least he issued a warning.) Which Bush later lied about in saying that no one could have expected the levees to break. What Bush really meant was that "no one of my limited intelligence" could have expected the levees to break. (For now at least, the video can be found at One Good Reason.)

I wanna meet someone who gave him high ratings when we first bombed Iraq, but who has since changed their mind. Because according to the polls, there's a hell of a lot of them out there. This man had an over 90% positive rating at one point. He now has a 38% all-time low. Letterman pinpointed the moment this happened, showing the videotape on his new "George W. Bush: Oh My God" segment -- when the President was caught on videotape hocking a loogie.

I'd like to hock one myself.

In other news, the Patriot Act was overwhelmingly renewed. Guess Congress isn't about to save us from anything any time soon.

Head Like a Hole, Eyes Without A Face

They were Option 30.

Lead singer: Trent Reznor.

And they liked to cover Billy Idol, it seems.

I remember my friends Jerry and Alexis had that same plaid shirt from the mid-80s. Does this mean Reznor liked shopping at The Gap?

Click on the photo to be transported.

Butterflies aren't free

Nope, butterflies at the Natural History Museum are not free at all. First off,they're contained in a plexiglas conservatory, and second, cost $16 to get in. Not that this stopped us on Sunday.



This is my second visit to the flying insects; they seemed less varied in color and type this year; still, it's a pleasant trip. Until you start sweating your face off, because the room is about 80 degrees and 80 percent humidity (yes, like a Washington, D.C. July) having the little buggers floating and flapping around is quite lovely.



One piece of advice: On weekends in New York, only do things that no one else has thought of. Which means stay home. Because if you go out to a museum on a three-day-weekend Sunday, things will be packed. We got tickets for a 3:45 visit to the butterflies, then stood in line another 20 minutes to be let in. The room is relatively small, and they can only have a few people in at a time.



Once inside, the kids -- mostly young girls -- will go up to one of the banks of tropical plants and sugar dishes and offer their hands, standing as patiently as they know how for as long as they can stand it, to have one of the butterflies alight on their outstretched fingers. Butterflies have other ideas, though; one monarch landed in the blue-black hair of a young girl while she eagerly awaited anointment in another direction. By the time she was alerted, it had flown away.



On the other hand, should this guy have landed on you, you probably couldn't get away fast enough. Fortunately, he hung like a Garfield window ornament on the plexiglass the entire time, like a bouncer keeping an eye on things. A moth amidst butterflies, yet I bet he gets lots of pictures taken. Made me think of "Silence of the Lambs," frankly.

I Mess With Texas, Part 9

Woot! One Texas Mess to go before we hit double digits!

The nice thing is, sometimes these things just write themselves:

Houston eyes cameras at apartment complexes

HOUSTON -- Houston's police chief on Wednesday proposed placing surveillance cameras in apartment complexes, downtown streets, shopping malls and even private homes to fight crime during a shortage of police officers.

"I know a lot of people are concerned about Big Brother, but my response to that is, if you are not doing anything wrong, why should you worry about it?" Chief Harold Hurtt told reporters Wednesday at a regular briefing.

(More at the link.)

Can we really be surprised that this is being proposed in Texas? Here's hoping Chief Hurtt (man, what a great name) volunteers to go first. Because, you know, he's not doing anything wrong.

Sometimes you miss the old days when red-staters were more about getting the guv'mnt outta private lives, rather than finding new ways to syringe it in.

Pictures, and the 1,000 words

Okay, so, not to be flip. I do understand that this is art, and those notorious cartoons were, well, not, even if they were valid examples of freedom of speech. But. How is it that this is valid, but they are not -- if your argument is that no one is allowed to reproduce the image of Mohammed?

Remember, that seems to be the main argument. Not so much that they were offensive cartoons -- but that no one may reproduce the image of Mohammed, even if it's a purty one.

There are many other folios like this. They're from the 1500's. They're not British, they're quite clearly Persian. This one is marked: "The Prophet on Buraq." I do note that some of the other folios feature Mohammed on Buraq and his face is either whited out or covered, burqua-style. Which does seem to put things into definition a bit more clearly. But this one has a full frontal illustration thing going on. So, what's the deal?

Notion and link from VeryBigBlog.

UPDATE: Have found more on this discussion at MetaFilter.

Wikipedia, though subject to sabotage, has some illuminating information here. In part:

The Qur'an, Islam's holiest book, condemns idolatry, but has no direct condemnations of pictorial art. Direct prohibitions of pictorial art, or any depiction of sacred figures, are found in certain hadiths, or recorded oral traditions.

Views regarding pictorial representation within several religious communities have varied from group to group, and from time to time. Among Muslims, the Shi'a Muslims have been generally tolerant of pictorial representation of human figures including Muhammad to the point that a fatwa exists given by Ali al-Sistani, the Shi'a marja of Iraq, stating that it is permissible to make pictures of Muhammad, if done with the highest respect. [46] Sunni Muslims are considered less tolerant. However, the Sunni Ottomans, the last dynasty to claim the caliphate, were not only tolerant but even patrons of miniaturist art, some of which depicted Muhammad. These depictions usually show Muhammad's face covered with a veil or as a featureless void emanating light (depicted as flames). Pictorial surveys of Muhammad can be found on the internet.[47][48][49]

...

According to the BBC "It is the satirical intent of the cartoonists, and the association of the Prophet with terrorism, that is so offensive to the vast majority of Muslims."[50] However, six of the more controversial caricatures were published in Egypt in October 2005, months before the protests began, suggesting that there is more to the controversy than just the original cartoons and their publication.

And, more Mohammed images in this archive.

TANGENTALLY RELATED: Someone else (One Good Move) has caught on to the Mohammed Rose renaming, and said basically what I did a few days back: We're all so alike.

Gezundheit!

Thanks to Steve at the Sneeze, the world can now know the story of how I ticked off Charles Schultz.

(And it gives me a chance to point everyone to Steve's Sneeze site, which is marvelous.) Be sure to check out "Steve, Don't Eat It!"

Forever's a mighty long time

Happy Valentine's Day!

A la Pamie:

If forever means forever --
it covers lifetimes.
If forever covers lifetimes --
It covers all the years of my life.
If forever covers all the years of my life --
Then it covers 18 to life.
If forever means forever --
Then I don't understand why you broke up with me just because I'm doing a little time.
You best get your priorities in order because one day I won't be in this cell
And you're gonna be sorry.
Forever.

Snow Daze, 2006

I think it was Lucy Van Pelt who noted that snow wasn't really ripe until February. That means we just got some of the ripest stuff on record (they're calling this the second biggest snowstorm on record for New York City, the last being in 1947). At least, if "they"=WCBS-TV.

I went out. I love snow, and I love when it's snowing. Things were a bit sting-y when it blew in your face, but I grabbed the camera and checked out the 'hood.



I actually had some errands, but the library was closed, ditto the pharmacy (though not the rest of Duane Reade, damn their hides). The pet store was open, so I snagged some food for the dog.



Also picked up a slice of Sicilian -- pizza guys just have to be available on such days.



People are really just friendlier in the snow, at least when it's fresh. Kids are outside making snowballs and fairly pathetic snowpeople, and when one little one falls on his rear in the stuff it's clownish and cute; the father watching looked up at me grinning and grinned back. People give you little looks like "hey, whatcha gonna do, aren't we toughing this out together?" when you walk by on the street and there's a real sense of comradeship.



I'm sure there's some study worth doing on faux-apocalyptic bonding; I mean, if we were really going to be stranded for weeks or months there'd be no grinning and things would get ugly fast. (Hello, avian flu -- a friend of mine says she's already stocking up supplies "in case.") But on a day when the world turns white and you know it'll all be over by nighttime and tomorrow will be slushy and manageable and Monday, it's okay to have a little fun with it all.



UPDATE: Actually, it's the record, not the second in line, as of this evening (again, as per WCBS-TV.)

Hallelujah!

Cornwall, here I come!

I was becoming disillusioned that I would never get to see the UK in decent weather because airfares for June and July were just not dipping below $800 (and might I mention that includes upwards of $200 in just insane fees and taxes). And then I got the email from heaven. Or rather, Airfarewatchdog.com. And I snagged a trip for about half that -- including those stupid fees and taxes. In fact, the fees and taxes were more than the actual ticket!

O, to be hiking in South West England in the summertime. Now I will be. Hooray!

(And, it's snowing right now! Hooray that too!)

Con artists and children

Daniel Dennett, on Salon.com, by way of Bookslut:

The political consequences of undermining faith are monumental, spurring riots and killings around the world. Are you -- is science -- willing to take responsibility for these deadly outcomes?

We cannot let any group, however devout, blackmail us into silence by their expressions of hurt feelings whenever they feel that we are getting close to the truth. That is what con artists do when their marks begin to get suspicious, and that is what children do when they can't have their way, and it should be beneath the dignity of any religious group to play that card. The responsibility of science is to safeguard the well-being of those it studies and to tell the truth. If people insist on taking themselves out of the arena of reasonable political discourse and mutual examination, they forfeit their right to be heard. There is no excuse for deliberately insulting anybody, but people who insist on putting their sensibilities on a hair trigger demonstrate that they prefer pity to respect.

Cartoon: The Revenge

Things to remember when plotting a cartoon revenge:

Know the religious makeup of the country you're pissed off at.
Denmark, for example, is "Evangelical Lutheran." Though they were quite kind to refugee Jews during WWII, and there are likely some Jews still living there, it is not a Jewish country.

Know the history of the event you're planning on "satirizing."
The Holocaust, for example, did target Jews, but basically the goal of the Nazis was to eliminate "impure" races and individuals, including so-called "mud people." Therefore, if you're not a pure-blooded Ayran from the Barvarian or Nordic areas of the world, you're pretty well screwed. Oh, and you had to be Protestant; they weren't very forgiving of other views of God. So if you happen to be from the non-white parts of the world (e.g., say, oh, Iran), they'd have been coming for you eventually. And 60 years ago, they'd probably have made many inroads.

Know the religious makeup and history of the individuals you're actually attempting to offend.
While it's possible and probably likely that some Jews will be offended by lowlifes who would try and illustrate something like the Holocaust in "funny" or "satirical" terms (how would one satirize the Holocaust, exactly? I mean, just for the sake of argument, it's not like those pretentious Jews who got themselves gassed did it accidentally or something), I bet we won't see

Embassy-burning
Flag-torching
Widescale violent protests
Deaths

over it. Nobody pokes fun at the Jews better than the Jews. It's how you cope in a world that blames you for freaking everything.

The one amusing element to all of this, and even then it's not all that amusing, just ironic: Danishes (the breakfast pastries) have been renamed in Iran. They're calling them "Mohammedan" pastries. Because while you can't depict the prophet graphically, you can eat him if he comes with sugar and fruit. Apparently.

I mean, how silhttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifly is that, to rename a food item because you don't like the country it came from? We'd never do that in the US. We certainly wouldn't legislate it, or attempt to.

Oh, wait, we would.

Everybody, into the kiddie pool! It's time to all act like five year olds!


UPDATE: Choire Sicha has something to say, and says it well.

ANOTHER UPDATE: A good piece from the London Times.

UPDATE, THE REVENGE: I never thought I'd say it, but you go, Christopher Hitchens.

My hero

You can never write about Werner Herzog too much.

First of all, Joaquin Phoenix may owe his life to him.

Oscar-nominee Joaquin Phoenix was rescued from his car wreck last week by German cult director Werner Herzog.

The 31-year-old Walk the Line star overturned his car on a canyon road above Sunset Boulevard in Hollywood after his brakes failed and he collided with another vehicle.

Phoenix was saved because he was wearing his seat-belt, but has revealed he was helped from the wreckage by the 63-year-old, who has a home nearby.

But now, it appears the man may actually have Super Powers: He's sort of more powerful than a locomotive (see above) and apparently he can stop bullets. If they're the right kind. I eagerly await his leaping tall buildings in a single bound.

Herzog Shot During Interview

German director Werner Herzog was shot by a crazed fan during a recent interview with the BBC.

The 63-year-old was chatting with movie journalist Mark Kermode about his documentary Grizzly Man, when a sniper opened fire with an air rifle.

Kermode explains, "I thought a firecracker had gone off.

"Herzog, as if it was the most normal thing in the world, said, 'Oh, someone is shooting at us. We must go.'

"He had a bruise the size of a snooker ball, with a hole in. He just carried on with the interview while bleeding quietly in his boxer shorts."

An unrepentant Herzog insisted, "It was not a significant bullet. I am not afraid."

Significant Bullet, I think, is my new favorite band name.

No Cartoons Were Harmed In The Creation of This Article

But some guts were busted.

The Onion hits the nail on the head.