Spring fever

I'm not sure if it's in the air or what, but the number of crazy people in my neighborhood has been growing exponentially in the last few months.

When I first moved here I didn't notice any; it's a pretty stable family type neighborhood. And then one morning a squirrel woke me up with chattering, and I was pissed because it was something unreasonable like 8am on a Saturday. So I got my water pistol and went squirrel-hunting. I was just getting him to go when this woman on the ground walking her dogs yelled up at me and I took aim and and then ducked back in. I've since seen her later on but she doesn't seem to connect me with the incident. She walks two overly-hairy hounds who look like they really could use a bath, and if you approach her with your own dog she'll keep you locked in place at least 20 minutes. This alone is not a crazy thing. But if she catches me and the dog running out for our late-night pit stop (which involves running outside, doing the thing, and fleeing back inside) she breaks out into cackles of laughter even if she's halfway down the block. So, a little more nutty. Then one time I was walking my dog back into the house and she was (dogless) leaning up against the wrought iron fence and standing next to what I thought was a folded-up grocery cart but was likely more like one of those cart/walker items. Since she likes seeing Ciara fleeing down the sidewalk home, I gave the dog her head and we ran, and as we passed her she let out this blasting series of epithets and claimed we were trying to run her down and couldn't we see she was taking a rest right there and what is wrong with people today!

The next time I saw her she made no reference to the event. So now I treat her with a wide berth. And think of her as the Crazy Dog Lady.

Now we have at least two more, neither of which I have any intention of interacting with: One, a great big hulking guy who's over six feet and probably 275 pounds, unshaven and kind of sloppy but not quite homeless looking with a really deep voice. He's the nightmare crazy man because he looks like a Sopranos enforcer and makes bizarro comments when you walk by. You feel like he's going to lunge out and grab you and try to send you back to the Planet Zoltron. I've seen him more than once and he's the kind of person who you hope isn't talking to you but maybe he is so you'd better pay attention in case that pisses him off and then suddenly he's continuing on his muttering way.

I'm reminded that briefly we did have a semi-crazy homeless woman living in the hood, who is now gone: She was Asian and sat in a very low-to-the-ground beach chair on random corners and often had an umbrella over her head.

So, this morning I saw our third. I was walking Ciara and heard a woman on a far opposite corner of the block yelling in what I think was Spanish. Since I couldn't make out what she was ranting about at first I thought she was yelling at someone across the street, but as we got closer to that side of things, there was no one there. A teenaged boy was standing and waiting for his ride, but I've seen him before and she didn't seem to be addressing him. We continued down the street and by the time we got to her corner she'd crossed and was standing about a yard or so from the boy, continuing to rant. Then she very deliberately jumped up and stamped down with both feet on the pavement about 6 or 7 times. When we got back around again, she was gone.

So, I'm beginning to worry about the water in the Heights these days.