So there's a new documentary coming out on HBO about the making of the 1970s classic "Deep Throat." Went to a preview screening with a co-worker (now, that is weird, sitting next to a guy you work with while Linda Lovelace does her, uh, thing). The whole film is full of old people who worked the industry during the day, often with bad toupees, haranguing wives and in the case of the film's director, those old-man pants which allow you to have the waist up under your boobs. Old age scares me more every day.
But the scariest scene came from Cosmo editor Helen Gurley Brown, telling us that she's "always known" that jism is great for your skin. "It's little babies," she begins by way of explanation before cutting herself off and continuing to explain why sperm keeps those wrinkles away. (Based on how she looks she's not been getting near enough, even if her hair did stand up like Cameron Diaz's in "There's Something About Mary.")
But I digress.
"It's little babies." Yes, let's all smear small infants on our faces, preferably in liquid form. You can look younger, too.